Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize