I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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