Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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