went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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