i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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