Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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