Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize