yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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