Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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