I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
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I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
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THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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