mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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