So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
2020 sucks, I want a refund
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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