No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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