Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize