this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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