Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize