Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize