soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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