I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize