Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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