Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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