idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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