Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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