But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the day after is always just damage control
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he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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