Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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