I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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