What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
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You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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