Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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