Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize