well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
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