the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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