What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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