omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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