No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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