he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize