I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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