It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
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I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
50% drunk capacity currently
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
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He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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