I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize