why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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