no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I want a musical about memes.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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