im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize