just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
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