In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize