I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
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Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
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All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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