that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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