I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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