OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize