It was confusing and full of hummus
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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