She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize