So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You pole danced in your parka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize